Golf Balls

Canada Forums » Jokes & Humor » Golf Balls
THREAD AUTHOR
Brew01 Surrey, British Columbia Canada
A man entered a bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls". Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said.

After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked;
"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

Blonds, go figure dunno
walley golden, British Columbia Canada
rolling on the floor laughing lmao big time blond jokes ok lol



a brunet a red hed and a ( blond )

are all in the hospital pregnent and redy to give berth the brunet ses im going to have a girl be cuse my husbend and me made it in this posishon

the red hed ses im going to have a boy be cuse my husbend and me made it in this posishon


the blond starts balling her eyes out the other wiman are consernd all the suden the blond yells out im going to have a pupy



enjoy cheers
Brew01 Surrey, British Columbia Canada
A little boy was sitting on the steps of a church with a jar of what appeared to be water, he was shaking the jar and watching the bubbles rise to the top. The preist came out and asked the kid what he was doing. The boy looked up at the preist and said, "Father, in this jar I hold the most powerful liquid known to man". The preist just laughed and said, "Son the most powerful liquid known to man is holy water". "How do you figure that ?" asked the boy, the preist said, " Simple, if you rub a few drops of this holy water on a pregnant womans belly, she'll pass a baby boy." The kid laughed and said, "That's nothing father, if you rub a few drops of this turpentine on a cats ass, it'll pass a motorcycle"
KHD100 Edmonton, Alberta Canada
Brew01: A little boy was sitting on the steps of a church with a jar of what appeared to be water, he was shaking the jar and watching the bubbles rise to the top. The preist came out and asked the kid what he was doing. The boy looked up at the preist and said, "Father, in this jar I hold the most powerful liquid known to man". The preist just laughed and said, "Son the most powerful liquid known to man is holy water". "How do you figure that ?" asked the boy, the preist said, " Simple, if you rub a few drops of this holy water on a pregnant womans belly, she'll pass a baby boy." The kid laughed and said, "That's nothing father, if you rub a few drops of this turpentine on a cats ass, it'll pass a motorcycle"


Why do I get the impression this kid is just like you Brew??? grin rolling on the floor laughing
Brew01 Surrey, British Columbia Canada
KHD100: Why do I get the impression this kid is just like you Brew???


Who said it wasn't me ?
rolling eyes
eyesthatknowwhy somewhere, Saskatchewan Canada
laugh rolling eyes

You do remember the one about men, golf balls and the "g-spot" don't you Brew? angel
KHD100 Edmonton, Alberta Canada
eyesthatknowwhy: You do remember the one about men, golf balls and the "g-spot" don't you Brew?


Brew.... remember.... not very likely. You will have to refresh his memory. LOL
eyesthatknowwhy somewhere, Saskatchewan Canada
KHD100: Brew.... remember.... not very likely. You will have to refresh his memory. LOL


D'oh! Oops! Forgot - sorry Brew - ok comfort

What's the difference between a golf ball and the g-spot?

Atleast a man will go searching for the golf ball.....

dancing banana wink innocent grin
Brew01 Surrey, British Columbia Canada
sticking out tongue
eyesthatknowwhy somewhere, Saskatchewan Canada


sticking out tongue
Is that all ya got? Don't be offended, a lil birdie told me that you were suffering from a bad memory - just trying to accommodate - wink or is that frustration cuz your having a hard time keeping track of ....grin or finding...É (that`s a question mark) onto the post about this effing keyboard...angel
Brew01 Surrey, British Columbia Canada
eyesthatknowwhy: Is that all ya got? Don't be offended, a lil birdie told me that you were suffering from a bad memory - just trying to accommodate - or is that frustration cuz your having a hard time keeping track of .... or finding...É (that`s a question mark) onto the post about this effing keyboard...


I have no idea what you're rambling on about, but if your keyboard is acting up, like giving you characters you don't want, or understand, try changing your Regional settings, make sure it says you're in the U.S. and not Canada. For some reason or another if you have your Regional settings on Canada, you get some pretty wierd shit happening whenever you try to type something
KHD100 Edmonton, Alberta Canada
Hey, can you imagine that, Brew was here again, and gave Eyes some good advise.

How's Hell's kitchen doing Brew?
Brew01 Surrey, British Columbia Canada
KHD100: Hey, can you imagine that, Brew was here again, and gave Eyes some good advise.

How's Hell's kitchen doing Brew?


Not bad, bustin my you know whats as usal. I started making a full pan of roasted chickens when the damn oven went on the fritz. My boss suggested I throw them all out, but I suggested I make them into a chicken stew instead, but nope, he tossed the whole sheet right in the trash..some people have more money than brains, huh ?
eyesthatknowwhy somewhere, Saskatchewan Canada
Brew01: I have no idea what you're rambling on about, but if your keyboard is acting up, like giving you characters you don't want, or understand, try changing your Regional settings, make sure it says you're in the U.S. and not Canada. For some reason or another if you have your Regional settings on Canada, you get some pretty wierd shit happening whenever you try to type something


D'oh! confused was having a hell of a time figuring this out and then noticed the keyboard icon on the bottom task bar and....applause cheering waalah!!! I am now set to the US and ????? dancing dancing the wierd shit may stop ....good stuff, thanx Brew and Kim and all those that helped (you'd think I was accepting an award or something LOL) Night angel
gemery Williams Lake, British Columbia Canada
Brew01: For some reason or another if you have your Regional settings on Canada, you get some pretty wierd shit happening whenever you try to type something


Actually, it is just Newfoundlandese. Drink a bottle of Newfoundland screech and it all makes sense.

rolling on the floor laughing

geo
KHD100 Edmonton, Alberta Canada
A husband walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a
sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several
possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the
more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for
the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him. Upstairs the wife thinks
(she's no dummy-), ' I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself.' She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says,

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!'



He never heard the shot. Funeral on Thursday at Noon.... Closed coffin.
KHD100 Edmonton, Alberta Canada
Newfie Lubricant

Way down in the out ports of Newfoundland, Murph's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said, 'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son! Ain't dat grand!!' Murph got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, 'Hold on! We ain't finished yet!' The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said, 'Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter!!!! She a pretty lil ting, too....' Murph got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, 'Hold on, we still ain't got done yet!' The doctor then delivered another boy and said, 'Murph, you just had yourself another boy!'

Murph said to the doctor, 'Doc, what caused all of dem babies?'

The doctor said, 'You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during conception.'

Murph said, 'Ah yeah, during conception.'

When Murph and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said, 'Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.'

She said, 'Yeah, I remember dat night...'

Murph said, 'I'll tell you, bye, it's a fookin' good ting we didn't use dat WD-40!!'

eyesthatknowwhy somewhere, Saskatchewan Canada
KHD100: Newfie Lubricant

Way down in the out ports of Newfoundland, Murph's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said, 'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son! Ain't dat grand!!' Murph got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, 'Hold on! We ain't finished yet!' The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said, 'Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter!!!! She a pretty lil ting, too....' Murph got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, 'Hold on, we still ain't got done yet!' The doctor then delivered another boy and said, 'Murph, you just had yourself another boy!' Murph said to the doctor, 'Doc, what caused all of dem babies?'The doctor said, 'You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during conception.'Murph said, 'Ah yeah, during conception.'When Murph and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said, 'Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.'She said, 'Yeah, I remember dat night...'Murph said, 'I'll tell you, bye, it's a fookin' good ting we didn't use dat WD-40!!'


cheering rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing GOOD ONE KIM!!! Oh, I must share this along...giggle cost? Priceless...thumbs up
Loner1960 St. Alphonse, Manitoba Canada
KHD100: Newfie Lubricant

Way down in the out ports of Newfoundland, Murph's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said, 'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son! Ain't dat grand!!' Murph got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, 'Hold on! We ain't finished yet!' The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said, 'Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter!!!! She a pretty lil ting, too....' Murph got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, 'Hold on, we still ain't got done yet!' The doctor then delivered another boy and said, 'Murph, you just had yourself another boy!'

Murph said to the doctor, 'Doc, what caused all of dem babies?'

The doctor said, 'You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during conception.'

Murph said, 'Ah yeah, during conception.'

When Murph and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said, 'Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.'

She said, 'Yeah, I remember dat night...'

Murph said, 'I'll tell you, bye, it's a fookin' good ting we didn't use dat WD-40!!'


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
KHD100 Edmonton, Alberta Canada
Las Vegas Churches accept gambling chips

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN
LAS VEGAS, BUT TH ERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.

SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS..

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS
ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.










angel

















THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.


angel





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